Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category


Posted: December 11, 2012 in Uncategorized



Why do you feel so good but cause me so much pain? Why do you continue to sell me   a dream only to wake me up in a reoccurring nightmare? Why do you hold me captive in your caged prison that suffocates my dignity? Why do you hold me hostage, leading me to believe I have control when im nothing more than slave to your disintegrating shackles? Who the fuck do you think you are to come into my life and take over my being? Am I to blame because I fall for your whisking words? Your charming façade? Your broken promises? Or am I the victim who lies within the palm of your soothing hands? Who’s to blame for my problems? Do I point a finger at this unforgiving, ruthless world we live in? Or am I to look in the mirror and bear the responsibility of a young man who lost his way? Do I blame you for your deceitful smile, your conniving words, your demonic possession? Or do I take the burden of fault for ever allowing you to make yourself at home in my life? Is this a losing game and does my predestined demise await for me in the end? Or is this a sign that’s reads “Wrong Direction”? Has my self perseverance been brutally murdered by your sharp dagger? Does my blood and tears sharpen your dagger each time? Or is this a future testament of a young man who overcame a near tragic defeat? Do you really control me? Am I truly a prisoner in your prison of lies, unfulfilled dreams, and ruined lives? Or am I a warrior fighting a battle that will lead to my victory? Can I overcome you? Or have you overcome me? Will I win this war? Or will you claim my defeat? I can recall the times we’ve had like it was yesterday, today, and tomorrow. You gave me a feeling nothing or no one has ever given me. You gave me a power that, in my mind, made me superhuman. I felt at one with you. I felt like you completed me. I believed that with you, life’s problems were nothing but simple solutions if you just didn’t care. But you were wrong. You filled my head with a plate full of bullshit. And I believed you. I believed you for so long. For too long. And now you have my mind. You took control and I let you. Why? Because you offered me temporary relief to my problems. You made me believe it was ok to repress things and let it all build up. You blinded me with rose colored glasses. But when I finally took them off, I realized, reality was real. Now Im lost. Im stuck. I feel trapped. And all you do is laugh at my misery, poke fun at my pain, and break me down piece by piece. I despise you. And yet, I rely on you. How does that happen? Why do I continue to swerve down a winding road that proves to lead off a cliff? Why I do allow you to take me for a ride only to crash burn? Am I far gone? Or have I gone far enough? Who do I turn to for help when all I know is you? Why do you hurt so good? Who is to blame? Will my questions go unanswered? Will these words go in vain? Where do I turn? Who do I turn to? How do I escape your deception? The answers all lie within my mirror’s reflection.


My last post, I ended it off about a man named Aleistar Crowley.  Crowley was who was responsible for founding the religious philosophy of Thelema. In his role as the founder of the Thelemite philosophy, he came to see himself as the prophet who was entrusted with informing humanity that it was entering the new Aeon of Horus in the early 20th century.


Quick tangent: Horus, Isis, and Osiris are the ancient gods of Egypt and are the three gods that Illuminati and Satanist followers worship (of course next to Lucifer). Osiris and Isis are married, Horus is their child (recall the last post about the ‘the eye of Horus”, the all seeing eye on the back of the dollar bill atop the pyramid). 

….so yeah, back to this Crowley dude. As stated before, he claimed to be the “anointed one” for the lack of a better phrase. He has often been looked up as the “Jesus Christ” to the Iluminati, intertwining his own teachings of Thelema with Illuminati belief.

Crowley was also bisexual, a recreational drug experimenter and a social critic. Because of this, he gained widespread notoriety during his lifetime, and was denounced in the popular press of the day as “the wickedest man in the world”.

While staying in Egypt in 1904, he claimed that he ‘received’ a text known as The Book of the Law from what he claimed was a divine source, This book later became “bible” for Satanists.

“Do what thou wilt”. This statement is quoted in the book of law several times and indicates that adherents, who are known as Thelemites or Satanists, should seek out and follow their own true path in life, known as their true will. Basically, do what the hell YOU WANT!


Now on to the interesting stuff. Crowley was originally from Great Britain. He returned in the 1940’s and began spreading his teachings from of Thelema and covert Illuminati beliefs. He began getting involved with the music industry (for more information in depth, google Aleistar Crowley and the music industry). Many artists began taking a liking to his teachings, particularly the biggest and most successful music group in the history of music.

Prior to their crossover mainstream success , The Beatles were a local act and very big followers of the teachings of Aleistar Crowley. This, of course, has been written off as nothing but accusations with no proof but rumors from the past. There are, however, two things that make it seem believable.

John Lennon, considered to be the leader of the Beatles, wrote a lot of songs that mimicked the ideas of Crowley;

“Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today”

Not buying it? Cool. Here’s the next thing. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (often referred to simply as Sgt. Pepper was the eighth album by  the Beatles. Released in June 1967, Rolling Stone called it “the most important rock & roll album ever made … by the greatest rock & roll group of all time.”

The album cover has a crowd of people on it, so it’s hard to notice who anyone is BUT….IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY, YOU ARE ABLE TO SEE…..


Coincidence? Possibilities? Crazy talk? You decide.

From this point on is where we start to see the emergence of symbols within our music; during a period in which music was going through what was considered a “golden age”. Now, it may seem as though this beat is reporting on something that took place decades ago but in actuality, these signs are being examined by experts today and the correlation with music then and now will be shown in later posts. But I will end this one right here.

The Man Behind The Pen…

Posted: August 30, 2012 in Uncategorized

I wear my heart on my sleeves. I wear my mind on my tongue.  I’m misunderstood; an enigma to the world.  I always march to the beat of my own drum.

  Welcome to the mind of Jordan Roberts. Born and raised in the Bronx, NY I’ve always considered myself someone who was out of step from the rest. From the way I think down to my writings and all, everything about me is “unique” as cliche as that may sound. This of course will be quite evident through my writings and blog entries.

I am openly gay young black man from “the hood“; it’s important to make mention of that because I never forget where I came from but I like to compare it to where I am now.

I stand at the tender age of 22,  old enough to make my own decisions but young and dumb enough to make the same mistakes over and over again which is okay because practice makes perfect.

I am currently enrolled at the University at Albany, wrapping it all up in my senior year (fingers crossed).

I have many goals in life and I think that’s my downfall. I want to do so much that I’m never able to completely focus on one thing at a time.

My primary focus though is to eventually make a successful career in the screenwriting field. Within the next few years, I look forward to writing and producing my own Black Gay TV series; something that is realistic and depicts every type of man within the LGBT community.

So there you have it, a brief synopsis into the mind a young man with a world of potential and who’s ready to make his mark on the world through his writing.

Hold on tight and enjoy the ride, which I’m almost certain you will anyway ; )