Reflection.

Posted: December 11, 2012 in Uncategorized

BrokenMirror

 

Why do you feel so good but cause me so much pain? Why do you continue to sell me   a dream only to wake me up in a reoccurring nightmare? Why do you hold me captive in your caged prison that suffocates my dignity? Why do you hold me hostage, leading me to believe I have control when im nothing more than slave to your disintegrating shackles? Who the fuck do you think you are to come into my life and take over my being? Am I to blame because I fall for your whisking words? Your charming façade? Your broken promises? Or am I the victim who lies within the palm of your soothing hands? Who’s to blame for my problems? Do I point a finger at this unforgiving, ruthless world we live in? Or am I to look in the mirror and bear the responsibility of a young man who lost his way? Do I blame you for your deceitful smile, your conniving words, your demonic possession? Or do I take the burden of fault for ever allowing you to make yourself at home in my life? Is this a losing game and does my predestined demise await for me in the end? Or is this a sign that’s reads “Wrong Direction”? Has my self perseverance been brutally murdered by your sharp dagger? Does my blood and tears sharpen your dagger each time? Or is this a future testament of a young man who overcame a near tragic defeat? Do you really control me? Am I truly a prisoner in your prison of lies, unfulfilled dreams, and ruined lives? Or am I a warrior fighting a battle that will lead to my victory? Can I overcome you? Or have you overcome me? Will I win this war? Or will you claim my defeat? I can recall the times we’ve had like it was yesterday, today, and tomorrow. You gave me a feeling nothing or no one has ever given me. You gave me a power that, in my mind, made me superhuman. I felt at one with you. I felt like you completed me. I believed that with you, life’s problems were nothing but simple solutions if you just didn’t care. But you were wrong. You filled my head with a plate full of bullshit. And I believed you. I believed you for so long. For too long. And now you have my mind. You took control and I let you. Why? Because you offered me temporary relief to my problems. You made me believe it was ok to repress things and let it all build up. You blinded me with rose colored glasses. But when I finally took them off, I realized, reality was real. Now Im lost. Im stuck. I feel trapped. And all you do is laugh at my misery, poke fun at my pain, and break me down piece by piece. I despise you. And yet, I rely on you. How does that happen? Why do I continue to swerve down a winding road that proves to lead off a cliff? Why I do allow you to take me for a ride only to crash burn? Am I far gone? Or have I gone far enough? Who do I turn to for help when all I know is you? Why do you hurt so good? Who is to blame? Will my questions go unanswered? Will these words go in vain? Where do I turn? Who do I turn to? How do I escape your deception? The answers all lie within my mirror’s reflection.

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